Support

I passed through another phase of whoring it up when I came back to Scotland. I guess casual sex is a coping mechanism, the same way excessive alcohol consumption helps me. Some of the things my ex did count as rape under the French legal system. This messes with me. After we broke up I … Continue reading Support

One year later

One year ago today, the 03/08/2018 I started this blog in secret because my depression was rapidly worsening and my at the time partner/fiancĂ© had just locked me out completely. I wasn't allowed to post on Facebook because I was putting my entire life online. A lot has changed since. So far as I can … Continue reading One year later

Life in the house post-rape

After I was attacked I didn't really have the option to move out. I had little to no money and still hadn't paid off my deposit on the room. I hadn't even been living there for a month before this happened. The housemates weren't aware but even so it wasn't easy to live with them. … Continue reading Life in the house post-rape

I am probably an alcoholic

Throughout my life, I have had many experiences with alcohol. Since I was about ten there was a glass of Buck's Fizz at Christmas dinner and another shortly after at Hogmanay. I didn't get whisky until I had a toothache at 15 and my dad was high on painkillers and told me to. I actually … Continue reading I am probably an alcoholic

How my life partner found out I was raped

In early 2017 I had my own flat but slept more often than not in my boyfriend's studio apartment. I was being made to watch 13 Reasons Why. It's a very graphic, amazing and serious. It was also a trigger for me that I reacted to with drink because I learnt fairly early on alcohol … Continue reading How my life partner found out I was raped