Support

I passed through another phase of whoring it up when I came back to Scotland. I guess casual sex is a coping mechanism, the same way excessive alcohol consumption helps me. Some of the things my ex did count as rape under the French legal system. This messes with me. After we broke up I … Continue reading Support

One year later

One year ago today, the 03/08/2018 I started this blog in secret because my depression was rapidly worsening and my at the time partner/fiancĂ© had just locked me out completely. I wasn't allowed to post on Facebook because I was putting my entire life online. A lot has changed since. So far as I can … Continue reading One year later

I am probably an alcoholic

Throughout my life, I have had many experiences with alcohol. Since I was about ten there was a glass of Buck's Fizz at Christmas dinner and another shortly after at Hogmanay. I didn't get whisky until I had a toothache at 15 and my dad was high on painkillers and told me to. I actually … Continue reading I am probably an alcoholic

What do I want to achieve?

Yesterday the psychologist I saw asked me what I wanted to achieve by pressing charges and what I wanted the justice system to do. I hadn't really thought about this as such because I am sadly not expecting the justice system to do anything. It has been over two years and the only evidence is … Continue reading What do I want to achieve?

Psychology

No title, my own work. Mixed media, oil pastels, dry pastels and water-colour pencils on sketch paper. Today was another hard day, I saw a psychologist for part of the police report. The hospital is a short walk from where I live so under dark grey clouds swollen with rain the boyfriend and I walked … Continue reading Psychology