I got chased out of the flat with no shoes on.

Earlier this year when my life imploded I went through some real shit. I don't just mean shit I mean fucked up, abusive, I was terrorized and nothing was okay shit but I couldn't see an easy way out. Break ups are never easy but they shouldn't be like that. I had a friend who … Continue reading I got chased out of the flat with no shoes on.

Support

I passed through another phase of whoring it up when I came back to Scotland. I guess casual sex is a coping mechanism, the same way excessive alcohol consumption helps me. Some of the things my ex did count as rape under the French legal system. This messes with me. After we broke up I … Continue reading Support

What do I want to achieve?

Yesterday the psychologist I saw asked me what I wanted to achieve by pressing charges and what I wanted the justice system to do. I hadn't really thought about this as such because I am sadly not expecting the justice system to do anything. It has been over two years and the only evidence is … Continue reading What do I want to achieve?

Psychology

No title, my own work. Mixed media, oil pastels, dry pastels and water-colour pencils on sketch paper. Today was another hard day, I saw a psychologist for part of the police report. The hospital is a short walk from where I live so under dark grey clouds swollen with rain the boyfriend and I walked … Continue reading Psychology

How the homeowner reacted to the rape

Mrs Leroy didn't hear about the attack from me. She heard about it in the middle of March from Myra who I still think of as her pet. Myra didn't ask me if she could tell Mrs Leroy, didn't communicate it beforehand or anything. I just got a text from Myra one day after I … Continue reading How the homeowner reacted to the rape

How I coped with being raped

When I was living in this shared house privacy was available and my door did lock, but that never seemed to stop people knocking or sending me texts. The walls were thin, I could hear most of what was happening in the living and dining rooms downstairs. Otherwise, you could see into my window from … Continue reading How I coped with being raped

Charges have been pressed

On the 7th of August, I went to bed at 2:30am, setting an alarm for 8am. My friend who had come with me on the Friday before was coming with me again to give my statement even though he would have to leave partway through for work. We left at 8:45am and walked there, disappointingly … Continue reading Charges have been pressed

The worst day of my life

Today is the day I go to the police station to give my recorded statement. Today is as good of a day as any to share my story with the world. I'll be sharing it with the police after all. I'm anxious, French is not my mother tongue, when I went to give my provisional … Continue reading The worst day of my life

I went to press charges

Today at 6pm I got a phone call from a close friend of mine who had recently been the victim of abusive homophobic comments and violent threats. He knew a bit about what had happened and how Tuesday I was convinced I was going to press charges then I wimped out because I wasn't brave … Continue reading I went to press charges