I got chased out of the flat with no shoes on.

Earlier this year when my life imploded I went through some real shit. I don't just mean shit I mean fucked up, abusive, I was terrorized and nothing was okay shit but I couldn't see an easy way out. Break ups are never easy but they shouldn't be like that. I had a friend who …

Support

I passed through another phase of whoring it up when I came back to Scotland. I guess casual sex is a coping mechanism, the same way excessive alcohol consumption helps me. Some of the things my ex did count as rape under the French legal system. This messes with me. After we broke up I …

One year later

One year ago today, the 03/08/2018 I started this blog in secret because my depression was rapidly worsening and my at the time partner/fiancé had just locked me out completely. I wasn't allowed to post on Facebook because I was putting my entire life online. A lot has changed since. So far as I can …

13 Reasons Why

When I first saw 13 Reasons Why advertised on Netflix it really sparked my interest, the story was close to home in a way as I had lived through a rape. I had suffered blame for something that was out of my control and slandering tales told by my attacker to mutual parties in an …

I am probably an alcoholic

Throughout my life, I have had many experiences with alcohol. Since I was about ten there was a glass of Buck's Fizz at Christmas dinner and another shortly after at Hogmanay. I didn't get whisky until I had a toothache at 15 and my dad was high on painkillers and told me to. I actually …

Psychology

No title, my own work. Mixed media, oil pastels, dry pastels and water-colour pencils on sketch paper. Today was another hard day, I saw a psychologist for part of the police report. The hospital is a short walk from where I live so under dark grey clouds swollen with rain the boyfriend and I walked …

How my life partner found out I was raped

In early 2017 I had my own flat but slept more often than not in my boyfriend's studio apartment. I was being made to watch 13 Reasons Why. It's a very graphic, amazing and serious. It was also a trigger for me that I reacted to with drink because I learnt fairly early on alcohol …