I got chased out of the flat with no shoes on.

Earlier this year when my life imploded I went through some real shit. I don't just mean shit I mean fucked up, abusive, I was terrorized and nothing was okay shit but I couldn't see an easy way out. Break ups are never easy but they shouldn't be like that. I had a friend who … Continue reading I got chased out of the flat with no shoes on.

One year later

One year ago today, the 03/08/2018 I started this blog in secret because my depression was rapidly worsening and my at the time partner/fiancĂ© had just locked me out completely. I wasn't allowed to post on Facebook because I was putting my entire life online. A lot has changed since. So far as I can … Continue reading One year later

Were you drunk?

I definitely have some kind of alcoholic tendencies and everyone who knows me well knows that I love my booze. In fact, today at a social someone confiscated and binned my second glass of red wine because yesterday I was possibly having alcohol withdrawal symptoms. I had done three days with no alcohol, day one … Continue reading Were you drunk?

Life in the house post-rape

After I was attacked I didn't really have the option to move out. I had little to no money and still hadn't paid off my deposit on the room. I hadn't even been living there for a month before this happened. The housemates weren't aware but even so it wasn't easy to live with them. … Continue reading Life in the house post-rape

Emily

Emily lived in the room on the left-hand side of the hallway on the same floor as I did, her room was next to the kitchen and mine was diagonally opposite. She was 19, French and an architecture student at a suburban university. She had light brown hair, down to her shoulders, fair skin and … Continue reading Emily

What do I want to achieve?

Yesterday the psychologist I saw asked me what I wanted to achieve by pressing charges and what I wanted the justice system to do. I hadn't really thought about this as such because I am sadly not expecting the justice system to do anything. It has been over two years and the only evidence is … Continue reading What do I want to achieve?

Psychology

No title, my own work. Mixed media, oil pastels, dry pastels and water-colour pencils on sketch paper. Today was another hard day, I saw a psychologist for part of the police report. The hospital is a short walk from where I live so under dark grey clouds swollen with rain the boyfriend and I walked … Continue reading Psychology

Kind comments

Today I woke up to some lovely comments on my posts. I feel it would be nice to share them with you. They're only screen captures because I'm on my phone. I'm not going to delete them. Instead, I have approved and liked them. It's so nice that I'm being trolled for coming out with … Continue reading Kind comments

How the homeowner reacted to the rape

Mrs Leroy didn't hear about the attack from me. She heard about it in the middle of March from Myra who I still think of as her pet. Myra didn't ask me if she could tell Mrs Leroy, didn't communicate it beforehand or anything. I just got a text from Myra one day after I … Continue reading How the homeowner reacted to the rape