First blame

I had an English friend who also lived in the suburbs between my town and Paris. He's probably in his 50s, his wife is somewhere in her 30s. They're mostly nice by he strikes me as somewhat shallow. When I was attacked I thought I could talk to him. I half hoped that because he … Continue reading First blame

Slut-shaming

A key that opens many locks is a master-key; a lock that gets opened by many keys is a shitty lock. - Glaswegian proverb. I didn't know what slut-shaming was until a few days ago. I had heard the term used but I hadn't put thought into what it meant or why it was being … Continue reading Slut-shaming

Emily

Emily lived in the room on the left-hand side of the hallway on the same floor as I did, her room was next to the kitchen and mine was diagonally opposite. She was 19, French and an architecture student at a suburban university. She had light brown hair, down to her shoulders, fair skin and … Continue reading Emily

I am probably an alcoholic

Throughout my life, I have had many experiences with alcohol. Since I was about ten there was a glass of Buck's Fizz at Christmas dinner and another shortly after at Hogmanay. I didn't get whisky until I had a toothache at 15 and my dad was high on painkillers and told me to. I actually … Continue reading I am probably an alcoholic

What do I want to achieve?

Yesterday the psychologist I saw asked me what I wanted to achieve by pressing charges and what I wanted the justice system to do. I hadn't really thought about this as such because I am sadly not expecting the justice system to do anything. It has been over two years and the only evidence is … Continue reading What do I want to achieve?

Psychology

No title, my own work. Mixed media, oil pastels, dry pastels and water-colour pencils on sketch paper. Today was another hard day, I saw a psychologist for part of the police report. The hospital is a short walk from where I live so under dark grey clouds swollen with rain the boyfriend and I walked … Continue reading Psychology

Kind comments

Today I woke up to some lovely comments on my posts. I feel it would be nice to share them with you. They're only screen captures because I'm on my phone. I'm not going to delete them. Instead, I have approved and liked them. It's so nice that I'm being trolled for coming out with … Continue reading Kind comments

How my life partner found out I was raped

In early 2017 I had my own flat but slept more often than not in my boyfriend's studio apartment. I was being made to watch 13 Reasons Why. It's a very graphic, amazing and serious. It was also a trigger for me that I reacted to with drink because I learnt fairly early on alcohol … Continue reading How my life partner found out I was raped

Patreon support

The support I have had since starting this blog is so much more than I ever expected, in about six weeks I have had over 1000 visitors. Over 150 followers. Over 200 likes. I was never expecting this. To celebrate how well this is going I have opened a Patreon page here. There are three … Continue reading Patreon support